Saturday, December 3, 2011

In which I'm out of the hospital

So, I haven't been in the hospital this whole time. But there was a lot of in and out. I would get a little better, and they'd let me go. Then I'd get worse. Then I'd get worse, then I'd almost die and I end up spending a whole week watching soap operas and having my food be a little baggy poked into my bloodstream.

It has not been very fun for me.

At night at the hospital, it gets very quiet. There is noise, sometimes, but it is the closest to silence I can get nowadays. I still crave that, the quiet. It's peaceful at the same time that it terrifies me.

I need that silence. Even though the last time I heard it, I almost gave up the life of a child. The time before, My friends died in front of me.

I still need it.

I still need him.

I feel terrible about myself. These sort of thoughts make me sick. I had thought I might have gotten away from him. But it isn't like I can just forget.

I have nightmares almost every night. Except when I'm at the hospital.

I think I've missed the nightmares.


  1. ... I know what you mean about the nightmares. It is almost a relief to have them back, yeah.

  2. Yeah.

    Nice to meet you, by the way. You're new. Which is awesome. I like new people.

    I haven't been reading any blogs recently, so I have no idea who you are. Although I can tell you have a blog. Maybe I'll read it one day. But thank you for reading. And I hope your life is good.

  3. Good to meet you too. I read your old blog-mine started right after yours ended.

    Sadly, my life sucks. I hope yours gets better.

  4. That is really sad.

    I hope yours gets better too.